Is Tom Brady going to become the next Olympic kayaker? Is he really giving up pro football for more extreme sports? Of course not, he’d have to be the dumbest guy on earth to leave the sport he was born to play and dominate for something he can barely do…for some reason Micheal Jordan just came to mind.

The “Golden Boy” Brady with his supermodel girlfriend attempted to take a kayaking trip down the Charles River. Shortly after rowing away from the dock, the kayak tipped and the so-attractive-it-should-be-illegal couple had to be rescued by the guy at the dock – who is probably still thanking God for the chance to pull Gisele, and probably Brady for that matter, from the water. It’s a pretty funny story but does bring some concerns to Patriots fans.

For one: if Brady is coming off of a season-ending knee surgery, why the hell is he kayaking just before training camp starts? I realize that he feels good to go and his recovery has gone better than anyone could have expected but still, the man shouldn’t even be letting Gisele take the bottom position in bed let alone convince him to hop in a kayak. I know she’s a supermodel but come on man, kayaking? At least start off slow and rent a canoe or a rowboat or something like that. Shit, they have so much money, they could have paid someone to row for them.

Secondly: You can recover from a knee injury. Swallowing that infamous dirty water aka the Charles River is like having a one-night stand with a hooker without a raincoat and then running through Dorchester park with no shoes on. You are bound to get some incurable disease or at least an embarrassing rash. If Giselse gives birth to the Swamp Thing, they will have learned their lesson.

I hope Brady has gotten all of this summertime fun out of his system now that the Patriots are back at mini-camps. It’s time to put on his game face and bounce back from last year’s injury to return to the SuperBowl. If Brady wants to be in the next Mountain Dew commercial, he can wait until he retires or at least wear some floaties.